|Julie Had A Tough Return to Minnesota|
I can't remember who said that, or maybe it was my own quote. It was in my handwriting--probably influenced by a book or a friend. A good book or a good friend.
We can live through a whole lot of positive but sometimes all it takes is one negative to send us reeling.
When someone gives us, or even worse our kids, the message that we aren't good enough, the sirens go off like a missile warning. It's like an impending nuclear meltdown. Global meltdown.
We circle our wagons, shut all the windows and lock the doors, push dirt up against the foundation and anchor ourselves to those who have our back. Those who love us no matter what. Our proverbial family. Our people.
My birthday was last month. My drivers license is expired. My passport is expired. It's easy to feel a little bit concerned about proving who I am to the authorities. Kids don't even have an ID yet.
I imagine that every strong person, young and old (maybe even 13) has had their self esteem held hostage by an other person's decision at some point in their life. We've all heard the message loud and clear. We might not be good enough. A performance, a grade, a date proposal turned down. There are a lot of chances in life for us to feel ashamed. Brené Brown has made a whole career out of studying this.
What rebuttal do we want to give our children--when they are told they missed the mark? What do we tell our selves? We are after all growth minded individuals.
We have decisions to make. The first decision is to wait. Wait until the storm dies down. Wait until we have our emotions under control. The radiation contained. Walk, talk, breath, sleep and eat, but keep your wagons circled. Take care of your feelings. Secure your own oxygen mask before you accidentally rip the mask off someone else. Take care of yourself, with love. Do no harm.
Second? Resolve to learn from every situation. What will we do differently next time? What have we learned? Where do we house our fragile selves? If we are seeking the approval of the world, we will never hit the mark, and even if and when we occasionally do, the mark will INSTANTLY shift. The moving carrot. There's always a next big thing.
Jesus loves me this I know. . .
The third thing? Tether yourself to what's real (From Hand's Free Mama) and remember what you came for.
In the world of Suzuki piano, we came for the love of the child. And then for the love of music. In that order. We didn't come for the love of perfection or competition.
Sometimes we set goals and work hard and shed tears and we still don't win.
How about them Vikings. . .
Those olympic skaters who wipe out on network television.
Our lossses are not so dramatic.
Progress still was made. Growth still happened.
We are reminded that who we are has very little to do with our achievements.
We just are. Children of God. Lovers of music. Learners of life.
Perhaps we are not so fragile after all.