Ikigai ~ Another Book on Beach

The annual dinner with Grandmommy at Monkey Pod

Anniversary Dinner

Bill & Sara for 21 Years

On the dolphin boat

Sunset at Ko Olina

Janel & Mary on our night out

Dinner Out

Celebrating Our Anniversary 

I read a better book on Thursday, Ikigai, the Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life, by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles.

The book covers the usual topics of diet and exercise but it jumps pretty quickly into finding your purpose. One way to do that is to pay attention to where you lose yourself. Where you are most in your flow. Your focus. When time just flies. I'm not just talking about a week in Hawaii. . .

I made a short list of places besides Hawaii where I lose myself. Where the time goes by without effort. I'm pretty blessed I guess because the list was pretty long.

• Teaching piano. . . the rhythm of each lesson, starting and ending with our Japanese bow and following the routine for the most part and enclosing myself in that bubble with the child, working toward a common goal of ability development and helping children solve problems and understand what makes music beautiful and meaningful. Really it doesn't get any better than that. 
• Gardening. . . being outside and working toward making my garden beautiful. It's physical and mental and creative. It's also lesson after lesson about life. It will never be perfect and we have to keep redoing different areas. You can see the weeds or see the flowers. Gardening is a whole school. Every once in a while like August 7, 2014 the whole thing gets hailed on and ruined and you have to let it go. Try again next year. 
• Decorating. . . making my house pretty, by tweaking houseplants or adjusting things for the season. When I have the chance, this makes me very happy. 
• Writing. . . I think I've been writing here for a long time now. I discovered the blessing of writing when my dad was sick and Susan and I wrote back and forth on his Caring Bridge site. It's never been my intention to write for anyone besides myself. But, since this blog is public there are some responsibilities. I read somewhere lately that our goal in writing should be not to impress people, but to inspire them. A lot of times I share highlights of my family life, in a journalistic sense, so that I don't forget them, I hope that doesn't come across as bragging. I celebrate a lot of other children in my life, my two kids are just the two that I love the most. 

I don't think "parenting" exactly falls under the category of times when I lose myself. Sometimes the only thing that flows is confusion. But, come to think of it, 18 years has seemed to fly back pretty fast. Parenting has definitely brought more personal growth than I ever dreamt, moment by moment each and every single day, a new chance to do better and learn from my mistakes. 

I was dark after reading The Monk's Guide. (See the previous blog entry.) Going home and getting my house put back together and preparing for the events of the next three months seemed overwhelming and insurmountable. How could I get through it all and give choir the attention it needs in the next month and make plans for the summer and get the god-blessed scrapbook done before graduation? 

But Ikigai was uplifting. It's all about purpose. I know what my purpose is for the next three months. Parenting. Practicing for Holy Week, preparing my house and garden in a lovely way for the graduation festivities, getting the piano kids ready for recitals and summer institutes, and making plans for a very special summer. Celebrating Calvin and everything that makes him who he is at this crossroads. All of it. 

It won't be perfect. It will be a little wabi-sabi (the next book I'll tell you about). It will be the beauty of impermanence and imperfection. I'll be asking for a lot of help from family and friends. 

Lord,

Thank you for Hawaii. Thank you for this gift of this sacred place. Our children have grown up here, I can still see their faces the first time they saw the ocean. Thank you for times of retreat. And sunshine. And the ocean. And dolphins and whales and crabs and lizards. And my mother. And my husband who is the only other member of the 4:00 piña colada club. Tomorrow we come down from the mountain. Be with us and remind us of our purpose, our God given purpose as we make our way through the upcoming weeks. 

Amen

A Monk's Guide and the Sand Zamboni

Today was the end of day three. Sunday was day one--I slept ten hours and then we spent the day at the hotel in the usual fashion, that is, starting out with a three mile walk along the beach with my mom and watching the kids build sand castles and swim on the beach. Then we headed up for lunch at the beach side restaurant, small glass of champagne included. In the afternoon the kids move to the pools and Bill and I visited the spa by the sea. A meeting of the 4:00 piña colada club--no new business and no old business. Simple dinner in the room. Early to bed. Monday was the same minus the spa visit.

Today we ventured out to the north shore-stopping at Matsumoto's shave ice and Giovani's shrimp truck. The shrimp was new this year-gasp. We've been going to the same places at the same time for ten years now. But, Mary found this food truck online and judging by the line and the wait it was true to its reputation. So, now we have a new tradition. We took a long hike in the sun to Ka'ena point, where the west and the north side of the island meet. You can see both sides of the ocean and also some rare albatrosses nest there. The beach at the hotel is an engineered lagoon, the the north shore is the real deal. No swimming there.

I read a book. A Monk's Guide to a Clean House and Mind, by Shoukei Matsumoto-no relation to the shave ice grocer. I don't know. According to the book I have mold and dust on my heart. All cleaning is symbolic. At home right now, every single thing is cleared out of the entire downstairs and the floor is getting sanded and varnished. Then the walls are getting painted. It will really be a fresh start. There will be no fingerprints, scratches and dark grey patches. No blemishes on my heart or in my mind. The monks clean everything everyday. With everything in its place it might be easy to achieve enlightenment. I'm totally tempted by this. What if? What if this were possible? What if we took it even further than Marie Kondo? As we put things back after the new varnish and paint, we can curate. We can spark. There might be a moment when everything is perfect.

There is a machine here at the hotel beach. It's like a Zamboni for the sand. It drives over the whole beach overnight and in the morning it's all smooth and there are no footprints. The monks would love it.

Even if I were to achieve enlightenment in the living room, dining room and kitchen, there will still be the rest of the house and the garage and the garden. Even if I made a beautiful list in my bullet journal and came up with a rotation to clean all the screens and polish the wood and shampoo the carpet it would still never be complete. There would still be cobwebs in my mind.

That's the reason I'm not a Buddhist. I'll never be a monk. My mind is more like the north shore. The waves crash on the rocks and whirlpools form and the sand is full of coral fragments and sharp pieces of lava.

The hotel beach has little golf club grass leading up to the raked sand. But it's only one beach on a huge island of mostly wild waves and rocks. A monastery of beaches.

We only get a few hundred yards of perfection.

Real life is wild and unruly. It requires grace. It requires relinquishment. The peace that passes all understanding.

Dear Lord,
Thank you for vacations. For little moments of perfection in our busy lives. Thank you for the smooth sandy beaches but mostly for the actual rocky and wild perfection that is the real landscape of our lives. The beautiful, powerful and relentless north shore waves of real life. Help us to appreciate the beauty of it all, safely from the shore. And as far as the clean house and clean mind--well help us with that too-- at least a little. 
Amen. 

Choose the Joy (not to be confused with sparking joy)

Mary performing Bartok in Benson Great Hall at Bethel University

All Three 2019 Upper Level Piano Soloists

That's a keeper

Another story. . . . 

Joy is kind of hot topic these days. Does it "Spark Joy"?
At our house we talk about sparking things, you need to spark your closet, young lady. . .
And my phone case says "choose JOY" on the back--which of coarse I reflect upon every time I pick up my phone to check a text or email. Not. . .

Still it's true. And I came upon this yesterday morning in Mornings with Henri J.M. Nouwen, a small devotion book that I have mentioned before.

People who have come to know the joy of God do not deny the darkness, but they choose not to live in it. They claim that the light that shines in the darkness can be trusted more than the darkness itself and that a little bit of light can dispel a lot of darkness. They point each other to flashes of light here and there, and remind each other that they reveal the hidden but real presence of God. They discover that there are people who heal each other's wounds, forgive each other's offenses, share their possessions, foster the spirit of community, celebrate the gifts they have received, and live in constant anticipation of the full manifestation of God's glory.
Every moment of each day I have the chance to choose between cynicism and joy. Every thought I have can be cynical or joyful. Every word I speak can be cynical of joyful. Every action can be cynical or joyful. Increasingly I am aware of all these possible choices, and increasingly I discover that every choice I make for joy in turn reveals more joy and offers more reason to make life a true celebration in the house of the Father.
Page 110 

As one who is tempted by cynicism I found it profound to think about joy being the antidote. The opposite.

This weekend we had a lot of joy. Mary performed as an upper level soloist at the Suzuki Association of Minnesota graduation recitals. Though she is in between her book six and seven graduations, this year as piano graduation chair, along with the committee, I invited her to perform. We've done this before. It brought me great joy. I believe it brought her great joy as well.

My mom painted Mary a little sign when she was a toddler, it had cream and gold paint and it says "scatter joy." And Mary does. She's human. And a tween. But more often than not she chooses joy and that helps me to set aside my natural tendencies as well.

Congrats to Jackson and Sarah who also performed so beautifully and to their teachers Annette and Suzanne. And thank you to the flutes, harps and guitars for sharing their recital. I hope to showcase our advanced piano students for many years to come.

Here is a link to her performance. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKihNmr8LJY
May it bring some joy to the world.

Drinking the Cup of Life

Bill, Bill's High School Band Director-Roger Bjorklund, Calvin, and Matt Gullickson--who is Roger's grandson. 

This is how we do it. 

Fajitas. Enough said. 

Bill's Photo at Thursday Musical

When in Rome--or Texas that is. 

Eastview Percussion Ensemble 

Joy for Joyflag

Calvin's Xylo Solo 

Senior Shenanigans

God Bless Texas

Or. . . "How I sold my soul to Eastview High"

Eastview Wind Symphony

My SAM helpers

Mary in the First Clarinet Section of the District Honor Band 

Blackhawk Middle School Band Friends

Graduation Day-waiting for the 141 kids to arrive

My devotion this morning was "Drinking the Cup of Life." By Henri Nouwen.

Drinking the cup of life make our own everything we are living. It is saying, "This is my life," but also "I want this to be my life." Drinking the cup of life is fully appropriating and internalizing our own unique existence, with all its sorrow and joys. 

At first I thought it was coffee and cabernet.

Congratulations to Calvin on the percussion ensemble concert and the wind symphony concert. Thank you to the Eastview band directors for giving him so many opportunities. I have a pretty strong faith in God's perfect ability to give us the right people at the right time. There are so many of those people in our lives but in this theatre it is Matt Gullickson. You have to know that four years ago I psycho mom cornered him at the very first parent night and virtually threatened him to do right by my kid since the whole reason we were selling our chauffeuring souls to Eastview was for this band program. I stand down. Each of those band directors has left it all at the table. Turns out the soul selling was mutual.

Did you know that Bill's high school band director is the grandfather of Calvin's?

Congratulations to Mary and her friends on a truly fine District 196 honor band day and concert.

We are not leaving any blank space around here. Our cup runneth over.

Congratulations to the piano kids down in Houston. What a joy it was so hear them play and give them ideas! I had an awesome weekend there, punctuated with eighteen hours with Casey.

Four days at home with laundry, SAM prep and concerts and weather predictions and then we fast forward to SAM Piano Graduation Day. There was much ado whether to cancel or not. I did not. And the weather held off until late in the day and about 85% of the kids made it to perform and receive their trophies.

There was amazing performing in all six recitals at Sundin Hall. I'm continually inspired by my colleagues. Spending the day working with them is nothing by joy and I'm just so thankful for our community. I was so proud of my piano kids. Performance is not always perfect but every child was poised and expressive and I'll take that above almost anything.

I love watching the teachers, students and parents at these recitals. We have different levels of experience and expertise and some teachers have different goals in their studios. What do we all have in common? The kids LOVE their teachers. You can see it in all the photos and hugs and post recital warm fuzzies. These Suzuki teachers have relationships with their families. It's so special. Congrats to all and thank you to everyone on the committee--we are a well-oiled machine and it was nothing but joy to put it all together.

Last night I went to bed at 8:30, which felt like 7:30 because of the time change. My cup was empty. Not a drop left.

But the cup will refill and be drained again. And, in two weeks it will hold a Hawaiian shave-ice in whatever flavor I choose. It's crazy right up to that moment backing down the jet way. I might have coffee and celery juice all over the floor (which it getting refinished while we are gone. . . ).

To everything there is a season and we knew this one was gonna be like a champagne fountain filling the little crystal fluted glass that is our life. It's overflowing between now and graduation. I'm owning it, but praying for each day to receive just the joy and grace and energy it needs. Coffee? Celery juice? Cabernet? Shave ice? I relinquish the cup.

Amen.

P.S. Check out Calvin's composition and his xylophone solo on my youtube channel. Also--Mary's Bartok and more studio videos will be uploaded soon!
Sara's Youtube Channel