My God is a Rock in a Weary Land

I've got good news and not so good news.

The good news is my friend Vickie from Blanco, Texas passed her teacher trainer application!  Vickie, I'm sure Doris is so proud and I hope she was the second phone call after your awesome hubby. Vickie had other good news this month--her daughter had an extremely high risk pregnancy and I'm happy to report that Vickie is out in California with a healthy mama and baby. Congrats on both LIFE ALTERING events--a grandma and a teacher trainer all in one month!

The not so good is that my friend Lorie Gardner, mother of my student Isabella was in a fire yesterday. Their tiny family of mom, dad, Isabella and Lorie's mom is down in South Africa on a two year work commitment.  What I read from Lorie's sister's Facebook post was that there was an explosion at the stables where Isabella rides and that there was a fire and Lorie heroically saved 3 of 6 horses from being trapped in their stalls but had to stop (or I imagine someone else physically stopped her) when she burned her feet and hands. That's all I have--but there's no minor burning of feet and hands so we are all thinking of her and waiting for more reports.

I'm hoping angels know no boundaries--because I'm sending as many as I can dream of all the way to South Africa.  If you know Lorie you know that her kindness is unrivaled. She is one classy determined red-headed southern belle and she put the will in where there's a will there's a way.

Our choir is tackling another Daniel Kallman piece for the choral service entitled, "My God is  Rock in a Weary Land." It's a gosple doozy so I'm spending some time with it.  I'm sending that time out to Lorie and the message too--

My God is Rock in a Weary Land.
A Shelter in a Time of Storm.

You're not that far away, Lorie, and helpless as we are, we are all thinking of you and Isabella.

You Got to Dance with Them What Brung You

Last weekend Dr. Paul Wirth was here on behalf of our Suzuki Piano Teacher's Guild for a day of masterclasses.

We had a lovely day. Along with many good reminders about phrasing, pedaling, balance and performance practice, Dr. Wirth told a story--you got to dance with them what brung you--a modern day parable about a gal and her prom date. A story about loyalty, he used it to remind us about and ask us to reflect on why we play piano in the first place.

We play piano or flute or violin or we sing because at some point we were touched by music, not because we wanted better MCA scores or to win contests. Sure, there are a ton of Facebook articles about all the side effects of music study--and those benefits--everything from better attention span to clearer skin are great--but they aren't why we love music. We love music because it touches our souls and expresses the feelings of our hearts.

We need to periodically recommit to that loyalty--that original prom date--and dance with the one that brought us. If these kids don't have a love affair with music they're never gonna make it. Doris Harrel always asks-what is it that you love about this piece. Again and again I find that the right piece at the right time gets the job done too. There is so much good music out there and our time with these kids is really so short. Pick a piece they love. Right now Mary's having a first date with Burgmüller, Harmony of the Angels and the Limpid Steam. She gets it. She asks to practice.

After I thought about the loyalty to why we play piano in the first place, I found myself asking the question about everything. Why is it that I go to church? Why is it that I love my house and garden? Why did I have kids in the first place?

On the left is my childhood friend Casey, who lives in Houston. I went to music school and she went to law school. She worked at the district attorney's office in Houston for many years, prosecuting the worst of felonies whilst I built a studio of precious little cherubs playing piano. She built a life there. A few years ago she left to be a private defender in order to spend much needed time with her family. People need good defense too, and she's done well and had a pleasant routine with her family. The last few months she has been involved in a reality TV show project for TNT, "Cold Justice: Sex Crimes." Yes, this is completely crazy. My friend on TV. Their team goes into under-resourced communities and helps to solve older cases. They use their big city labs and stuff to reignite cold cases. I don't want to give anything away, but in the first episode the victim is a 74 year-old woman whose church lady friends had been praying that in some way justice would be brought to her rape which occurred two years ago on Good Friday as she went home from her church music job.

Why did you go to law school again?  I'm guessing church lady justice is a pretty close reason.

Is this the right thing for her and her family? I don't have all the answers. Yes, the routine is upside-down. Yes, her family is making big sacrifices--who knows how long they can sustain this or if the show will be a success? Big decisions. Scary changes.

But sometimes. . . you got to dance with them what brung you.

The show airs July 31st on TNT.

I'm not holding my breath for the reality TV show about the piano teacher. It'd be good but you would have to film it over fifteen years for one episode and who knows about the ratings. I'll have to settle for watching my friend. This means I'm probably gonna have to get cable. Good luck Casey, I'm proud of you.

Listening and Breathing

Bill's Mom and the boy.

If you don't want my fingers in your food. . . . how else do you know if it's hot? 

I will increase the height of my hair as needed to maintain my stature over the boy. 

You should know that this was the fourth batch. . . some live and learn. . . some just live. 

At this moment, I lost my will to get out the piping equipment. 

Our cream puffs and profiteroles. All's well that ends in our tummy. 

Just like times of old. . . we gather around the iPad.

After a week in Hawaii, I'm not feeling too sorry for myself, but I have to say that we came home right into the hell fire and brimstone of holy week in conjunction with the collision of my volunteer worlds.

Palm Sunday. . . 
Deerwood Gerten's plant sale data entry. . . (eleven hours)
SAM fall workshop meeting. . . (two hours)
Piano practice for Tenebrae service and Easter. . . (fifteen hours)
A graduation recital at my house. . . 
Post Hawaii laundry. . . (thirty-seven hours) okay-that's an exaggeration but that's how it felt
Scheduling and programs for SPTG masterclasses (three hours)
Getting two kidos ready for the masterclasses. . . . who is counting?
Leaving cat brushes on the floor for my husband to puncture his foot (five minutes)

And all with a significant case of jet lag.

Sunday I thought I was so cool getting up for Palm Sunday church at 6:00 a.m. Eight hours and I'm fresh as a daisy. Monday at noon it hit me. Total coma. I hate to pull the age card. . . but I guess at 5'6" I can't do a Friday night red-eye flight, lose a night's sleep and not pay the price.

Monday morning (pre-coma) I went to start my business week and all my contacts were erased from my computer. "You have. . . zero contacts."  Zero groups of contacts like SPTG board, SAM board, Piano Kids, Plant Sale Helpers. . .

I cried for help but the Lord did not hear me. I stuffed Dove chocolate eggs in my mouth and still the contacts did not reload. Last straw? Ask Facebook for help. Here I gained the comfort and support I needed. The masses ensured me that Calvin would be able to fix it. But what to do until 3:05?  I couldn't really pull him from school for the day.

Breath and listen.

Our senior choir performed the Beethoven Hallelujah again this Easter. I long ago abbreviated the orchestral reduction but even my edits put me at my limit. Still, I've been getting some coaching on my playing and I'm committed to life long learning and this is part of it.

So this year for the first time, at home, on the Baldwin, I'm feeling very comfortable and working to get out of the "this is hard" mindset.  Really--this is our third year with the piece and truly it isn't really that hard. Well within my clear minded grasp. Even fun.

For those of us with debilitating performance anxiety the goals become clear. Listen. Breath. You lose one of those for even a moment and it's all over.

We had four services and the third was the fullest one with the sanctuary packed and the narthex and the fellowship hall and the fireside commons and the live web stream. Bill and Mary and Calvin came too. The breathing and listening thing went pretty well and there was even a hint of the "fun" thing.

The fourth service the introduction did not go so well--I'm not sure if I lost the breathing thing or the listening thing because I wasn't there. Upon my return the rest went fine and I never lost my faith that our steadfast leader would know exactly where I was even when I wasn't there.

What is it about the end? How many times to kids screw up the last measure or phrase? I guess the brain has packed it's suitcase and already left the hall. And so I guess during the introduction of the fourth performance my brain left the hall. Overconfident? Tired? Or maybe we need that total rush of the heart rate just to pay attention. When I die, I'll get the printout and it will all become clear. Oh--that's what was wrong with you.

I could cry. I could beat myself up about it. I could feel terribly embarrassed. I could feel guilty about not giving the choir the confidence they needed for the last entrance. But the truth is, you do the best you can with the brain you are given and you keep learning and growing. You listen and you breath.

Monday morning you get up and practice with Calvin and do the listening thing. Then you go to yoga and practice the breathing thing. And then you teach and you practice the listening thing again. And so it goes.

So--each day and each Hallelujah and each moment an opportunity to listen and breath.

Happy Easter! May God bless all our listening and breathing--today and until it all becomes clear.

Aloha Moments, Aloha Years

Back in 2008 when Bill and I slipped away for a long weekend at the J.W. Marriott at Ko Olina on O'ahu I was so skeptical. Hawaii seemed like a cliché tourist attraction--right up there with Las Vegas.

There is a reason people come here--
And there is a reason people come back.

We had to bring the kids the next year and we still had flight benefits and all these Marriott points that were hard earned from Bill traveling when the kids were still pretty little.

Then my dad died and we had to share all this with my mom.

Then we couldn't leave out my sister and her family.

Then that got complicated and we just brought Savannah, and now we are back to the four of us and my mom.

The truth is, I wish I could bring everyone. I feel guilty for everyone who is not here. I wish my sister was here too.

Now, on our eighth trip--this has become the tradition. This is the Kotrba version of the Stephens' road trip out west. Waimea Beach is the new Black Hills. The east shore is the new Mt. Rushmore. The hike to the western tip is the new Avalanche Lake Trail. All the hours in the car and setting up camp at Glacier and beyond--to my kids it's a long flight and a bucket of sunscreen. This is what they will remember.

I didn't know that the ocean would bring me just as close to God as the mountains. I didn't know that power is power. Creation sings everywhere you look. I didn't know that seeing a monk seal would be just as amazing as seeing a moose. I didn't know that whales flapping their tales would be little winks from above.

I didn't know that for a few days we could all survive in a two bedroom hotel suite and live in a swimsuit and a couple pairs of shorts and a tee-shirt. No make-up. No blow drier. Same socks everyday. Simple. Simpler.

I used to make barbie houses at every campsite--with sticks and rocks and moss. Calvin makes extravagant sand castles. Mary collects tiny tiny shells.

I try to balance the mental health benefits of soaking up a winters' worth of vitamin D versus the threat of skin cancer and even those nasty brown spots. I imagine the dermatologist scolding me and then I decide that I just don't care. Life is short and winter is long. I ask God why being in the sun is a such a risk and causes such damage to our visage. Seems like a mistake equal to the creation of mosquitos.

The days go by. At first it seems like you have forever. Then you start to hate the people who are just checking in. The dwindling groceries in the fridge mark time.

Today we went to Matsomoto Shave Ice, the hole in the wall grocery store with the iconic shaved ice cones. People line up down the street and there is no place to park and worse. . . no place to pee.

This year. . . a remodel. Public restrooms. A parking lot. A new store. Progress?  It's enough to make a 13 year old boy sentimental. And it did.

Time marches on.

I didn't know the the island of O'ahu would become a sacred place. A place where nature and wildlife and a pina colada at 4:00 would all mingle together. A place my husband would take 1,000 pictures and grow his whiskers.

Turns out it wasn't exactly like Las Vegas after all.

Aloha--and I say from the bottom of my heart--wish you were here.

All Systems Go, Part Two

A week ago Saturday was the Suzuki Association of Minnesota Graduation for all instruments except piano. Five upper level piano soloists were selected by audition to perform as well. Lena and Calvin were included and all the pianists performed very musically. I'm proud of all the teaching going on at this level.

The guitars, harps and flutes perform in groups for their graduations. Two upper level flute soloists performed as well.  It was a very lovely concert.

Here is a link to Lena's Beethoven, Op. 13, Adagio Cantabile: Lena's Beethoven
Here is a link to Calvin's Mozart Fantasy in D Minor, K. 397: Calvin's Mozart

Next year, I'll be president and we will have a new graduation chairperson. I hope that things will continue to go smoothly and that the graduation day system will just pass into the next hands. Thank you, Andrea, for all your work getting the system in place and to all the other volunteers, Kamini and Meredith and Beatriz, Ellen and Paula--who am I forgetting--who put in hundreds of hours to make this special day for our students.

On a different note, last week at out SPTG meeting, we had a guest speaker presenting curriculums about sight-reading. It was a great program--she brought a table full of materials for us to peruse. There is no shortage of high quality systems. The knee jerk reaction, at least for me, is always, wow, I need to do that. We need to have a testing system and a grading system and a system to measure our progress. WE NEED A SYSTEM. . . .

. . . for sight-reading. . . for scales. . . for theory. . . for ear training. . . for technique. . . for rhythm.

Help. It's true that you could spend 30-60 minutes each week with each child on any of these subjects. But before you go clicking buy now on Amazon for the next curriculum. . . maybe we already have a system.

I love to quote Amanda Vick-Lethco, co-author of the Alfred piano books, because I was lucky enough have a year of pedagogy with her at UT. She even let me perform a tryout of my junior recital in her lovely home overlooking Mount Bonnell. She always said, you have to dog'um. You only have 30-60 minutes.

How are we gonna spend that time? In book one, foundations. Tone, technique, listening. We use the repertoire to build the foundations of tempo, articulation, and rhythm, balance, all of which should be smooth sailing because they are learning with the same ease they learn language. No one ever criticizes the four year old because they forgot some of the words they learned when they were three.  Success leads to success. We just keep adding more sprinkles to our musical cupcakes.

Beyond that--in books two through four we are adding reading, scales and theory. That is why we must have more time. At least 45 minutes. An hour is even better. My goal is to spend one third to one half of the lesson time with those "music education" tasks. The rest? Repertoire.

Beyond book four? We still have theory and technique but it has to serve the repertoire. The music.

At the extreme, if we take a child from three-years-old to graduation, that's fifteen years of about 40 lessons a years. Six hundred lessons. We have to dog'um, but if I'm gonna put a line in the sand I'm leaning on the repertoire side.

There is the famous quote, "perhaps it is music that will save the world" from Pablo Casals. Notice he didn't say music theory might save the world, or scales, or sight-reading. It is after music that we are studying. Music. All that other is important, very important, but it has to serve the repertoire.

That's my system, and I'm sticking to it.

All Systems Go

Congratulations to Peter, Elizabeth, Solomon, Nehemiah, Calvin, Mary, Úna, Preston, Ford, Matthew, Britta and Lena who performed beautifully at the University Lutheran Church of Hope on Saturday.  Congrats also to Isabella and Kajsa who graduated from Books 1 & 2 respectively but were unable to be there.

There are many things in life that operate better with a system. When you have a system you don't have to reinvent the wheel over and over and you don't have to worry if what you are doing is good enough.  For example. . . I go to an exercise class twice a week.  The teacher is an expert and I just turn my fitness over to her.  I'm satisfied that if I do my classes and go for a couple walks every week I'm getting my exercise. For this stage in my life, that will have to do. It's good enough. I also have a gal turned friend who has helped me clean my house for the last 11 years.  Twice monthly we put everything right in the house. It's good enough. I don't waste any more energy--I turn it over to the experts.

Our Suzuki teachers group has a pretty darn good system. We are the graduation experts. Friday night I got the call that the trophy company had neglected to include the 61 book one trophies in our shipment. Ouch. It's the youngest kids who need the trophies the most. We scrambled. Calvin printed out a sweet congratulations card with an apology for the missing trophy. One gal bought 61 carnations. One gal picked up a bag of chocolates. Each Book One graduate had SOMETHING--a sweet little tied together package--to take home with them.  The trophies arrived from New Ulm by noon and the afternoon recitals all got their trophies. The children were gracious--every little thing in life is an opportunity for character development.

I'm still continuing to review my technical curriculum. I'm seeking out the experts to really go over what I'm doing with a fine toothed comb. It's fun and hard work--to really examine what we are doing each step of the way. Looking for the system.

The difference is with learning and teaching. . . . you never really finish the system. The teacher I'm working with has said a few times what I've always said in my head--"I can't believe, knowing what I know today, that I was able to successfully teach last year." Isn't that how it should be? We are never gonna completely have a "system" as much as I would enjoy that. To have a teaching system would mean that we have arrived. I hope I never arrive. The best we can do is listen and be aware. Bring it back to the music over and over and over.

The system will have to be a growth mindset. Surround yourself with excellent people and keep learning and growing. If you don't have someone who inspires you you had better keep looking and if your teacher thinks you are perfect just the way you are you had probably better keep looking some more as well

The best teaching takes you from the known to the unknown and back to the known.

Congrats to all the great Suzuki Piano teaching in the Twin Cities, and may we all continue to grow and learn every year.

Click for Link to Mary's Musette
Click for Link to Calvin's Minute Waltz

Howdy Partners

I'm back from Houston and life is a rodeo indeed. These photos are from Mary's program last night.  Lisa Schoen is a music teacher extraordinaire. I don't know how she does it.

Tomorrow is the Suzuki Association of Minnesota Piano Graduations all day--nine recitals.  And next weekend the rest of the SAM instruments.

So far I'm staying on the horse and actually waving my arm just a little.  I think I can hold on for nine more seconds.

Blog entries are clogging up my brain--but there are still a few more barrels to run.

Love to all!