A Change of Attitude

It is Sunday night and I've pretty much had it up to here after a weekend with the kids and activities.  I put them to bed and was looking at the photos Bill took today of the first snow.  Sometimes looking at photos of the kids reminds me how much I love them.  Of course photos are so quiet and never interrupt your train of thought. Tomorrow is a new day to face with a happy heart.

I also treated myself to a new Christmas coffee mug.  It is huge.  Holds a whole pot of coffee.  It makes me smile and laugh. It has a dove and a heart on it. I believe the message is: if we have a big enough cup of coffee, we can face Christmas with peace and love.

Pastor Kris laughed about my pre-advent highs and lows.  She sent me this "pre-advent" prayer.  I don't know who wrote it:

  My brother, Jesus. It happens every year. I think that this will be the year that I have a reflective Advent. 

I look forward to Sunday and this new season, Jesus. But all around me are the signs rushing me to Christmas and some kind of celebration that equates spending with love. 

I need your help. I want to slow my world down. This year, more than ever, I need Advent, these weeks of reflection and longing for hope in the darkness.
Jesus, this year, help me to have that longing. Help me to feel it in my heart and be aware of the hunger and thirst in my own soul. Deep down, I know there is something missing in my life, but I can’t quite reach for it. I can’t get what is missing. 

I know it is about you, Jesus. You are not missing from my life, but I might be missing the awareness of all of the places you are present there. 

Be with me, my dear friend. Guide me in these weeks to what you want to show me this Advent. Help me to be vulnerable enough to ask you to lead me to the place of my own weakness, the very place where I will find you the most deeply embedded in my heart, loving me without limits.

It is a little heavy, but a good message.  Jesus is not missing from my Christmas, but I agree that I might be missing some awareness. I'm too busy practicing Christmas music and running lines at the pageant rehearsal to think about Him. . .  I was venting about having volunteered to chaperone the first grade field trip tomorrow.  I really would love to stay home and get a leg up on my laundry and Christmas decorations, practice some choir music.  Then my sister reminded me that because she is a jr. high teacher, she was never able to do anything at her daughter's grade school.  She also reminded me that the day will come where Mary might not want me along on her field trips.

Tomorrow is a new day to face with a happy heart.  And a big cup of coffee. And some more pre-advent reflection.