Glue Sticks for Everyone

"Mama, yesterday Mrs. So & So said that if we're working on the science project and we run out of glue we need to ask our neighbor to share his glue.  Then today, Mrs. Substitute said that it's not our neighbor's job to give us his glue when we run out. Who is right?"  

Well doesn't that just cut to the chase of our political culture? It sounds more like a parable for Jesus.

I've been thinking about it all morning.  How do we simultaneously teach compassion and responsibility?

Monday morning Calvin forgot his own science project.  He's been working on it for six weeks and it was due and there it sat on the flash drive on my desk. Never mind that homework is now on a flashdrive. . . that's not the point.  He remembered at the drop off, Mama I know you're really busy this morning, but could you PLEASE bring it over to school?  Please? I drove home in the snow and found it.  As I pulled back into the school parking lot my cell phone rang and it was him again and could I also bring his band folder?

A bad day for middle school.

I said no, I couldn't get the band folder.  He understood and said thanks for the flash drive.

Later at home I felt compassion, as much for the band teacher as for my son, and went to get the band folder and bring it over. I couldn't find it. My feelings of compassion flip flopped back to teaching the lesson of responsibility. . . maybe not even for the right reasons.

Compassion has to be given freely and not demanded. Responsibility has to be taught in appropriate rations.

Are there kids in Eagan who can't afford new glue sticks? Yes. Do the Kotrba's have a whole plastic sterlite bin of them in the art cabinet? Yes. If the needy kid needs a glue stick it's our job to be compassionate.  If, on the other hand it's Mary who just plain forgets day after day to bring a new glue stick from home. . . perhaps one day she should go without.

If Calvin had demanded that I go home and bring back the flash drive, I probably would have stiffened and refused, that will teach you a lesson. . . but he was contrite and had worked very hard and I had the time to get it.  His attitude freed me to feel compassion and want to help.

Likewise, I noted that Mrs. So & So didn't demand that Mary fork over her glue stick because Sam didn't have one.  She called upon the compassion of the second grade class to share with each other.

Compassion and responsibility are both values I see as being critically important--way beyond the glue stick and the band folder.  I'm just guessing the stakes are only going to get higher as we go.  I don't have all the answers.  I'm trying to go with my instinct on a moment by moment basis.