The Author of Our Days

It's a rainy morning here, the kids are FINALLY at school and I'm practicing choir music. Well, taking a break from that. . .to write.

We had such a great summer but I was ready for a recharge of solitude. Me, coffee, a piano and my computer. Recharge.

Labor Day weekend didn't go exactly how we planned. Our friends Kris, Dan, Annika and Amelia were supposed to come visit us at the new cabin. Instead we got the news that Kris's mom has pancreatic cancer.

Of all the things I have in common with my friend, this cancer was not welcome.

Through tears, their lights are already shining--Karen has a Caring Bridge site and I encourage you to read Kris's writing--a pastor's perspective on this journey. There is nothing to do but put one foot in front of the other with as much faith, hope, and love as humanly possible. They are already doing that.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/karencapel2/journal/view/id/540604d6cb16b4ef06e7c373

I also got word Sunday that my cousin Stacey has a tumor around her pancreas. She's waiting for more tests this week. Stacey is a couple years older than me and lives in Arizona with my Aunt Kathy, my dad's sister. She has a son Mike. Prayers while you wait, Stacey.

Everyone has to make their own journey and for obvious reasons no one wants to be compared to someone else who had/has this disease.

Still, here's what I know for sure these dear ones and our families will have in common. . . with each other and with my Dad's journey. . .

God will send exactly the right people at the right time. It's already happening. 

Miracles will happen. They might not be healing of the body but miracles will happen. I saw wild turkeys in the clouds--people. . .okay that was the least of it.  

If you believe in God, you will be angry with him/her. Any God who is capable of healing and doesn't is worthy of just a little anger now and then. Let's see. . . who told me that? It might take five years, but you will forgive Him. And like me, you may have a moment, a God moment, where you catch a glimpse of all eternity and you realize that all the pain and suffering on this earth is but a speck against the canvas of God's time. And you will know that it is okay.  

There will be good days. And good memories and time to make connections and share love so deep that its impact crater blesses the whole world. The veil of time in times like these is so sacred--tiny moments will last for years--years that you might not be given.  

You will find a paradox between fighting hard against that fricken mass, nuking it the best you can and also being at peace with God's eternal plan. I believe you can hold both views at the same time. And profanity is accepted. Like Kris said, all the four letter words are appropriate. 

You will need the doctors and nurses and the medicine and comfort and procedures they provide. Thank God for them and bless them--they are angels. But they are not the author of our stories. I don't care what they tell you, only God knows the number of our days, the myriad moments they hold and what miracles are possible. 

I pray that time will be elastic and filled so full with the love of family and friends and nature and music that you will always know you are held in the palm of God's hand--like you were before--like you will always be. God is the author of our days, and our stories are not over.