Kindness ~ the 6th Aspiration

Mary Sewing Masks

Calvin's Freshman Recital at Home

The boy. . . 

The Audience

Saturday we had one guest and kept her socially distant

The cats LOVE the new sofa

Bill works the live stream. . .

Oliver likes the new pillow. . . a little too much. 

Post Recital Hike around Lebanon Hills

Here we are. This weekend was Calvin's recitals, his optional Freshman recital for the University of Iowa School of Music. We had no guests on Friday, we had one guest on Saturday. Other than that it was Bill, and Mary and I, we are after all, Calvin's biggest fans. We had to eat all the brownies ourselves.

Here are the links. . . the edited video will be posted when we have a chance. The video from Saturday is more smooth.
Friday: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCzPUQksXM0
Saturday: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oT9Q3Vz0Gbo

Thank you to everyone who tuned in for the live streams. It could be that more people were able to watch it live than would have been able to attend the recitals, even in Iowa City. What is live music without an audience? I especially loved the Beethoven. The resilience of the human spirit. Beethoven says what we are all feeling.

You have no idea how hard the man behind the curtain worked to make it happen. Limited band width, computer batteries, camera batteries, limited file sizes on the Nikon, new applications to learn. . . myriad challenges, but for the most part Bill made it happen.

Mary is making masks for the Minneapolis hospitals. These calico masks are not front line masks, but for the other workers in the hospital. They are asking folks to make them and drop them off.

The sixth aspiration of my ten aspirations is to be kind. Compassion is not my first virtue. It fell closer to my sister, who teaches junior high special education. She is the most compassionate person I know.

I know compassion and kindness are not the same thing, but they dance together well. Maybe compassion is the feeling and kindness is the action. What do you think?

True compassion sets boundaries. For example. . . is it kinder to be very strict about bedtime for a few nights, or for your kids to argue and struggle against going to bed for their entire childhood, especially when we know that proper sleep enables all learning and other functions? Boundaries are actually a form of kindness. I probably live that to a fault.

Still. . . kindness is probably the secret of life. Being kind and compassionate does not equal a free for all. Doing your kids laundry their whole life is not kind. Teaching them how to do their own laundry is kind. Once they know how to do their laundry, doing their laundry during finals week is kind. Get it?

I guess we all have to follow our own instincts. I'm trying to look at life through the eyes of the person in front of me. . . but it's not easy. I'm balancing that voice that wants to tell the other person to "just buck up" all the time. I'm afraid if I'm too compassionate it will make the people around me weak. Compassion and kindness and boundaries are a dance.

It can be the hardest thing to be kind to the people we are the closest to. During this quarantine we really, really need to be kind to each other. Give each other some grace. Guard our tongues. Ask ourselves if what we are saying is kind. My childhood pastor Bohlman used to tell us to filter our words with:

• Is it kind?
• Is it neccesary?
• Is it true?

The greatest of these is kindness. 

Lord, 

Here we are in this pandemic. We know you are right here with us. Help us to be patient and kind to each other, always. Help us to set boundaries that are kind and compassionate. Be with all the healthcare workers and send us all your peace that passes all understanding.

Amen