Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Suzuki Gymnastics?

It is after midnight.

I can't sleep.

I'm surfing the web to find a new gym for Mary.

Tomorrow I am going to pull her from the gym our family has been going to for almost ten years.
She's been on the gymnastics pre-team for 18 months now.  Younger girls are getting pulled up to the team.  Mary is asking me, "what do I need to do to get on the team?"  I keep telling her--just always do what the coach says.  Always look her in the eyes.

Monday her best friend--same skill level--got pulled up to the team.  Can you imagine the sobs?

The coach says Mary is not focused.

So, she's not focused.

I had a conference with the coach Monday night.  Coach just kept saying these words--I can't make her focus.  I can't make her focus.  I can't create desire.

Those were the wrong words to say to me.

Them there's fighting words.

You see, the coach doesn't know that I have spent the last 25 years learning how to make very young children focus at a very high level.  She doesn't know that I BELIEVE that every child can.  She doesn't know that I believe creating desire is the job of the teacher and the parent.  She doesn't know that it is always the the teacher and parent that need to reflect, never the child.

If I have said it once, I have said it fifteen billion times, YOU CAN'T TELL A CHILD TO FOCUS.  You have to draw them in.  Primal scream. . . .

I asked her for extra help for Mary--a private lesson or two.  She said no.  Mary needs to be able to focus in a group setting.  A group of 12.  At her bedtime.  After a long day at school.  While she has to go pee.

She said some children are meant for gymnastics and some are meant for piano.

She said the wrong words to me.  That is not my mindset.

Even after my defenses wear back down, I still think I have to find a new gym.  This coach's mindset is a fundamental road block for me.  This is the coach she would have for the next few years.

I don't believe in sink or swim philosophies.  Not at age seven for sure.  I believe in teachers that communicate and lift up every child.   I believe in a triangle between student, teacher and parent.

Don't misunderstand my main point --I don't care if Mary ever gets on a team or stays recreational her whole life.  I just want her to have a sport that she loves--where she can do what she's doing well.  Quality.  Ability development. As Thomas the Tank Engine sings, whatever we do we do it well . . . . this little girl happens to be very athletic. It's taken all my strength to invite in the idea that she might have to make a big commitment to a sport as well as music.

It might take some time, but I'm gonna have to find a new coach that says, "that was good Mary, but I think you can do it even better."  A coach that asks her, how were your toes on that one?  A coach that sees what is working and does it again.  A coach that teaches awareness. A coach that knows that success leads to success.  A coach that learns with love.

A SUZUKI COACH!

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