Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles

Monday night my mom brought Calvin home after a week's visit at her farm.  Tuesday morning I found myself searching the bookshelf for my dog-eared copy of Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's book.  Except I'm going to take a sharpie to the cover and add: Kids, Parents, GRANDPARENTS, and Power Struggles--to the title.

As I reminded him not to sniffle, sit at the table while he is eating--and by the way, why is he sitting at my computer at 7:45 in the morning surfing Harry Potter Land--he broke down and let it all hang out.

And I quote, "Why do you have to control me.  You are always telling me what to do.  Everything I do it wrong."  All you do is yell at me.  There's too many rules.  It feels like I'm always in trouble.  Why can't I be at the computer when I want?  Why doesn't Mary ever get in trouble?

Then he took it a step further.  "At Grandmommy's I was FREE.  Free.  We just did whatever I wanted and she never yelled at me and we had such a great time together.  Baking pies, painting hogsheds, playing outside all day. We ate whole pans of fresh baked cinnamon rolls.  Without milk.  She let me drive the truck.  She didn't try to control me.

He probably never brushed his teeth all week.

The irony of this.  I can't even explain.  I can't even put it to words.  How can I articulate this?  My son is looking me in the eyes and telling me that my own mother is more lenient than me.  That she is less controlling than me.  She doesn't have rules.  She is more fun.

HE DIDN'T GROW UP WITH HER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me just remind you folks out there that my mother is my best friend.  We do everything together.  I have no baggage.  But there was a day. . . . and nobody felt more confined and repressed and under control than yours truly in certain volatile years of my youth.

Payback is a bitch.

He was back to loving me by noon.  I didn't even have to change the rules.  And for the record I don't yell.  At least not very much.  Could it be that he was happy to be back in the tight reigns of the Kotrba compound?

Later he and Mary were watching the new Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.  I happened to wander in during the scene where Willy is telling Charlie, "why would you want a Mother?  All they do is tell you what to do and boss you around all day."  Charlie replies, "Because they love you and try to protect you and help you learn. They have to do that."

Calvin winked at me.

Kids, Parents, Grandparents and Power Struggles.