Good Luck, Cassy!

Last night I had the dream again.  The dream where I have finished my masters except the recital.  I played the qualifying jury and now I can't figure out how I'm going to start over with all new repertoire and get it together for a recital.  How can I do this with two kids and a house and a husband and a studio?  I wonder if they would let me play the same repertoire, or if they would notice. . .

I dreamt this because yesterday was Cassy's last lesson before her audition at the University of Florida.  Last month it was Aidan auditioning at Luther.   So, I have auditions on my mind.

I've told the story before, but it's my blog so I'm gonna tell it again.  This is not a dream, this is real.

I'm playing a practice run-through of the rep for my master's qualifying jury for Ralph and Doris Harrel in their home in San Marcos.  The qualifying jury is where you have to prove you can be in the masters program. You will play in front of the whole piano faculty. My music has been nit-picked into oblivion back at the U. The notes are virtually worn off the pages in a heap on the floor.  It's Schubert and Poulenc and I can't remember what Bach and Chopin but I'm sure that's what it was.

I play the sixty minute program and then I wait for the comments.  Two Juilliard grads will certainly put their two cents in. Certainly something about the phrasing or tone or timing.  Nothing.  I get nothing.  Doris thanks me for playing and gets up to fix a simple lunch.  Remember, this is she who would spend an hour with me on Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. . . 

Occasionally in life there comes a point where we are good enough.

After lunch as we said goodbye, Ralph looked at me with a huge twinkle in his eye and said, "Go show those sons-a-bitches you can play."

Thanks, Ralph and Doris.

So, seniors, you have a lifetime of learning in front of you, you have not arrived, there are other teachers out there that I will pass the baton to, but for this moment, for one moment, let yourself be good enough, and go show those folks you know how to play the piano.