I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane

It's noon and I've taken care of the bunny and the cats and the plants and the laundry.  Groceries are coming this afternoon.  Bill should have a pretty clean slate for me to leave town for the weekend.  Agendas for the Tuesday morning SPTG meeting are printed and as many as possible emails are answered. Book 1 & 2 flashcards are printed and cut for me to give to the Austin piano kids and the outlines for the parent discussions are printed on yellow paper in my suitcase. And. . . there's still a third of a pot of coffee in the thermos and I actually had a minute to talk to my mother on the phone!    Mary Lynn is picking up the kids from school and taking Calvin to a Regis salon for a hair cut. We used to fly for free now we get free hair cuts. . . . Lucky for us Mary Lynn's daughter is a stylist there!  Then she and the kids are dropping me at the airport and I'm off. I think I will get Chic-fil-a in the airport.  It's a great day!

The title of my parent lecture is "Lower Your Expectations, Enjoy the Results."  Notice it didn't say "accept bad behavior at the piano" or "lower your musical standards."  Just lower your expectations.  Come to practice with the goal to enjoy your child.  What will we remember in 10 years?  How productive we were, or the quality of the experience we had with our kid at the piano?  If the kid ends up hating piano or worse yet hating his parent, then we have failed. I'll be completely honest and say that this is the hugest challenge of my life. I work on it every day and check myself constantly. Many days I come up short. But I have learned a few things practicing with my kids the last eight years and I think they are worth sharing.  So here you go:

Lower Your Expectations. . . Enjoy the Results

Heart of Texas Suzuki Piano Institute Parent Lecture

January 2013

The talented student—we come to the lesson with grandiose and lofty goals.  Then when every practice isn’t amazing we worry that the child is not meeting his potential. He’s slacking . . . now he’s misbehaving.  Now he’s crying.  Now I’m crying.

Where to start?

Stop before you start. 

Reflect.  Dr. Suzuki reminds us that it is always the parent and teacher who need to reflect.  The child is never the problem.  (That doesn’t mean we accept poor behavior)

If, no—when, you get frustrated, get help from your teacher and other experts. 

You are not alone.

Don’t let practice be negative for longer than a day. 

Keep a file of parent education ideas and insights.  Here are some that I come back to over and over and over again.

·      Lower your expectations for the practice session.  Really.  Come with an open mind.       Make the goal to enjoy your child.  Period.  What will we remember in ten years, how productive we were, or how we loved sitting with our child?
·      Focus on one thing.  Don’t get greedy. “Shoot One Arrow.”
·      Have a little faith that it will all get done.
·      Shorten, yes, shorten the practice.  We are teaching our children to enjoy learning.  If the practice is always long they will come to dread it.  When it happens, be thankful, but don’t come to expect it.
·      Be creative. This is the best way to lengthen the practice and strengthen the child’s attention span.  (See positive practice ideas list)
·      Keep it easy.  Focus on making the task easy.  One task.
·      Child’s concentration determines the lesson.  We are either teaching our child how to concentrate, or how NOT to concentrate.
·      Work at the child’s pace.
·      Do what is working and repeat it.  Four times.
·      Never Hurry, never rest. . . be consistent.
·      Let the method work.  Do the listening.
·      Acknowledge the feelings of your child.
·      Let the brain learn efficiently—small segments, many repetitions.
·      Let the child learn through her senses.
·      Enjoy your child. 

References: Helping Parents Practice Ideas for Making it Easier by Edmund Sprunger  A MUST READ

Parent Education by Jeanne Luedke: www.parent-child-education.com