For the first time in his 9 and three quarters years he said he felt stressed. Stressed about homework and his upcoming piano graduation recital, and also his perpetually runny nose.
Like Mary's end of kindergarten times, I felt a little sad when Calvin said those words. Welcome to the world. The first thing I said was that I was not stressed about piano. That--he is well prepared--but that it is my job as teacher and mother to keep working until the end.
What I didn't say was that I have had that exact emotion, the same stressful feeling about three times in the last three days. How am I gonna get all this stuff done?
I told him how over the weekend I decided to surprise him and Mary by making them their own small vegetable garden. I laid the rocks in a pretty design to outline the garden, bought little yellow forms for the vines to grow on, and all nature of little seeds and plants. Then I put my shovel into 12 solid inches of clay. Blah. So, I started shoveling. The garden is about 5' x 7'. Clay is heavy. I can only carry three scoop shovels of clay in a rubber-made bin without killing myself. About 50 rubber-made clay dumps later I looked down in discouragement. I was sore and tired and only had about an hour left before I had to shower and get ready to make the trip up North to meet him, Mary and Bill at Grandma and Grandpa's cabin. I took a deep breath and kept on shoveling and hauling. I finished the garden. As soon as the ground thaws here Calvin and Mary can plant the seeds. (That is a Minnesota May 31 joke. . . )
My mom always taught me, set the timer and see how much you can get done in 20 minutes. So often we can't see the end so we don't even start. Almost without fail, the task is done before the timer goes off.
My mom also asked Mary how in the world she could learn such a complex song as Minuet One, her new Bach piece and how she could play it so nicely. Do you know what Mary turned to her and said?
"Phrase by phrase." Those were her exact words. Out of the mouths of babes. Babes who can't even write the ABC's in upper and lower case.
How can a girl with a ten minute attention span learn Bach? Phrase by phrase.
Shovel by shovel. Homework assignment by homework assignment. This is how we finish what we start.
How do we help our children not get stressed? Moment by moment. We teach by example. Last night as I started to feel stressed, I made five different lists on five pieces of white card stock. Twenty minutes later the next month didn't look so overwhelming. Come to think of it, my mom taught me the white card stock list thing too. . .I guess I had a good example.
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