Field Trip

The Deerwood Elementary fourth graders took a field trip today to hear the high school band concert. Presumably this will help them to choose a band instrument, should they choose to participate in school band next year. Raise your hand if you like the drums. . . .

My mind is racing. My heart rate goes up. Ten years of my life flash before my eyes. My arms are open in prayer. Dear Lord, please let him not choose the French horn.

"Mama I really think I want to play the French horn."

My faith falters. . .

I wonder if the fifth grade band teacher is tracking with the fact that both Calvin's parents were instrumental music majors in college. The kids act like this is choosing a flavor of ice-cream at the mall. This is choosing which devil you are going to sell your soul to.

I'm not gonna tell him how many nightmares I have had and occasionally continue to have that I am playing first horn in the college orchestra. Except I haven't played in twenty years. In the dream I wonder if my chops will make it through the concert. I wonder if I will come in on the right note. I wonder if I even remember the fingering. Jeepers? Do I even have a horn to play as I walk on stage? I wake in a cold sweat. It is over. I quit. I sold my horn to pay a few months rent in 1996.

If he chooses the French horn it is because of all my sins in college. God is paying me back.

What would I choose for him? I don't know. He'll probably be a really good horn player. I have stacks of music and can probably come up with a really fine Conn II mouthpiece in a old box somewhere. Not to mention of shelf full of Barry Tuckwell CDs.

I'm thinking that this is the first really big decision in his life that he will actually take a part in. To me the stakes feel really high. To him all those coils look pretty shiny.

So here is the real prayer:

Lord, help me keep my own experiences and biases to myself. Help him choose an instrument that he will love to play, and that will deepen his love for music, and the magic that playing with other musicians brings. Help me use my knowledge to give him the appropriate amount of guidance at this tender moment when he makes this special decision.

Amen