The Log in the Child's Eye

My friend Kris happens to be a pastor and her daughter Annika happens to be about the same age as Calvin. Last Sunday Annika was sitting with our family in church while her mother was leading the service. At a point in the liturgy when the congregation stands up, Annika and Mary were busy making a home for their webkinz animals under the pew. Feeling very self righteous in his first communion stole, Calvin whispers in my ear, "Annika should really be standing up--she is the PASTOR'S DAUGHTER." Oh, Calvin, do you really want to go there?

My initial annoyance with this attitude turned quickly to internal laughter and ultimately to thanksgiving. I thought about what a great teaching moment this would be later in the day when I had a chance to talk to him in private. He is after all, the PIANO TEACHER'S SON. Wouldn't people expect that he would play with the loveliest of hand positions and always note perfect with expressive dynamics? Not to mention that he should be able to sit through an hour long recital straight backed in a chair without making a paper airplane out of his program. . .

I have to state two obvious points for the record: number one Annika is an angel who later that day at lunch brought my kids to religion in the form of table manners--that is the miracle of eating pancakes without getting syrup in one's hair and all down one's sleeves, as well as making it through an entire meal without talking with food in her mouth. Number two is that is was only about last week that Calvin finally started following the church service and singing the hymns without me poking him repeatedly in the ribs for the entire hour. I just had to say that. . .

Monday morning at the piano, I broached the topic. "Remember yesterday at church when you asked me about Annika and how she is the pastor's daughter?" Do you really want people to expect things from you because of my job. . .

"Mama, I already know where you are going with this." And he did. And we laughed.

Where is that elusive line between good behavior and self righteousness? How do we teach our kids the value of being good without the superiority thing? I pride myself, on having never been as self righteous as the people around me. . .

For the record that was a joke, but even kids are quick to find the speck in their friend's eye while missing the log in their own. The early seeds of the hypocrisies that we all harbor at some time or another. Perhaps laughter is the best medicine. If we can step back enough to not take ourselves and our children too seriously, it is probably a good step in removing the log from our eyes.

By the way, tomorrow at the SPTG recitals, Calvin will probably not play perfectly in every way. Hopefully, the next time Annika sees him play she'll have a chance to ask her mom why he forgot to bow. . . after all, he is THE PIANO TEACHER'S SON. . . And we will have to laugh.